Release

-Franci Joncic Sept, 2022

The floating leaf was torn; ragged edges and micro-tears shredding it towards character; seemingly insect eaten but without the expected uniformity of bites; a reckless decrepitation only time could advance so wildly; a clarification of life itself as a product of time; an untamed outback capable of such masterful artwork. I was intrigued.

I stretched my fingers wide to mirror its size, while studying; three dominant lobes towards its north; two subordinately sized ones pulling off a leaf stem at the south, forming one large cohesive surface. This was a trumpet tree leaf; the identification spurring forth knowledge of its indigenous use; of smoke inhaled to ignite the inward spiritual journey. I want this experience but I don’t know how to begin.

Where was the leaf shaman to guide me? No shaman, nor medicine man or higher leader within my vision. They cannot find me behind walls. I feel how our modern minds are encased by the concrete laws our cities are built on; cemented thoughts; hardened ideas.

The baby bird is released only after breaking its own shell. I want to smash my shell- for I know rules need never be fixed in space or time, just as the egg shell is useful only to a point. As life strengthens with age, each growth stage requires less protection. With each pulse further into the world plane, the borders are shattered until no more division is necessary. This ultimate freedom is my dream… as it is all of our dream.

I am drawn out of my revere once again by the sights and sounds that surround me. I see the vast blue of the ocean with my eyes and feel its silky coolness with my skin; I taste the saltiness on my tongue to realize; the physical body itself is the ultimate border of consciousness. The body confines the senses to five, and limits the scope of perception like blinders. My experience of life isn’t the true Reality at all.

So how did this endless ocean current somehow deliver its trumpet gift to me here and now? It came with the intention of an envelope floating on a cartoon wind- right into my hand; a drifting raft on an endless plane of chameleon blues, grays, and greens, somehow weaving its way to me; improbable as missing leaf bits might spontaneously reassemble to the whole; close to impossible.

Still, here the leaf was, right in my hand for me to read; proof of a higher order; of life itself as a sequence of improbabilities, synchronicities, and more we mostly ignore. So many threads sewing together a persistent message- “this world is well beyond the human experience; release your set mind to receive.”

I place the trumpet leaf back on the ocean surface to continue its journey of disintegration. Floating back into the water with eyes closed, I whisper prayers of gratitude -for the timely message and insights; then I release myself to the day. For I know deep within - this day is all there is, yet this day holds so much more…